11. My Ideal Job

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So you know how when you were a kid and adults would try to talk to you, but they really had no idea what to talk to you about, so they went with the standard, "what do you want to be when you grow up?"  It was probably a writing prompt in school at least a gazillion times.  And, now that I'm older and have opinions that I like to throw around because I'm so opinionated (pretty sure that started well before someone asked what I wanted to be when I grew up), I'm offended a little by this question.

As an adult, I understand why Kid Teh Megan was very confused with this question.  I knew the appropriate answer had something to do with what job I wanted, when I could start working.  But a literal, what do I want to  BE when I grew up?  Would I not be me?  I mean, that was pretty difficult.  I am left handed (like the rest of my family, no jk, Teh Sister, Teh Dad, and Teh Mom are all left handed also, we're that cool freak family), I am a girl, I am bossy, I am opinionated, I am a klutz, I feel like children should be treated equally no matter their gender, I am well "endowed"..  These things were roots of tension in my life, I was teased over all these things.  Side note: how do you go around spreading rumors that someone stuffs their bra when you watch them change for gym class 3x a week?

So, when I got older, I started answering the "what do you want to be?" question with, "me."  That always throws people for a loop.  Like, huh, thats not the right answer to the question.  And I've had people fight with me before becuase the answer wasn't right.  At which point I explained to them if they had asked me what I would like to DO when I get older or what JOB I wanted when I grew up, then they might have gotten the answer they wanted.  Sometimes, it really is about semantics.  Choose your words wisely.  USE your words wisely.

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But to the point of the prompt...

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For a while I wanted to be a doctor, of course, what kid doesn't like the prospect of helping people?  I also liked the aspect of being a teacher, then I realized that I was only ONE pain in the ass of generally 30 pain in the asses.  Teacher dreams = ceased.  For a while I wanted to be a shrink, I mean thats helping people still.  Then I realized that being a shrink meant listening to people whine.  I'm sure that some people would have legitimate issues, but most people just like to whine and bitch and then not do anything to remedy the situations they are whining and bitching about.  Shrink dreams = ceased.

Then I got into making collages for my 3 ring binders for school.  I would go through magazines and cut out items being advertised, cool looking pics, clips of text that were poignant or funny.  I decided then that I wanted to be the person that did magazine ad creation/layout.  I like to think I'm creative and the OCD parts of me really like organizing things and making things fit/look right.  I'm pretty sure I even put "magazine ads" as what I wanted my job to be after I finished college on my NCSU application.  NC State put me in the Communication - Media program, which was actually more for broadcast media than written.  :(

I did an interview (for a class assignment) with the print editor of the NCSU alumni magazine who did the job I had dreamed of, laid out all the pages of the magazine.  Apparently, you have to be in print media for about 20 million years to do her job.  I'm also fairly certain that the job would quickly drive me crazy.  She made it seem like everything was always late and every project was hair on fire.  Yeah, I have enough stress in my life just being me, thank you very much, have a nice day.  It will be the job I will always dream about being perfect, live vicariously through when watching Mad Men, but probably never ever have.

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After college, I applied for job after job, nothing coming to fruition.  I started my Cisco cert to apply for a project manager job at Cisco, but that also fell apart.  I moved back home and needed a job, so I started working at Texas Roadhouse ((TRH) best steaks evar.. and the yeast rolls are so delicious...  O.M.GEEE) as a waitress, because they don't let people start out as bartenders...

And then, for some reason joining the military seemed like a good idea..  They are always employing, right?  Well, then they start firing not retaining people, and not passing budgets.  Yet, I'm sure they are still employing.  So strange.  And most days, I really like my job.  Looking at pretty pictures makes me happy, but sometimes I really miss using my brain.  Most days, I don't mind the Navy.. but there are definitely days that I hate the Navy. Just like there were days that I hated any other job I've had before.

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My ideal job would be one that I could have any day I wanted off.  I'd travel and it'd be paid for, and I'd fly at least business class.  I'd make over 6 figures so then money wouldn't feel like an issue (or it better not).  I'd be looking at pretty pictures and laying them out on magazine pages.  I'd go into work when I felt like it and left when I felt like it.

Scratch that.  My ideal job would be to have no job and everything would be free, no bills, so that way there wouldn't be worries about money and everything would just be peachy.  :)

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   PS.  This wasn't about Teh Bear being in Bahrain.  You're welcome, Gentle Reader.  :)