20 May: Communicating the Communication.

Day 20, Monday: Get real. Share something you're struggling with right now.

Last week I went through TAP class.  TAP class = "get out of the Navy" class.  It's a mandatory class that every sailor has to go through (as of late 2011, thank you President Obama (no jk)) to get out of the Navy.  For a week you talk/learn about stresses of transitioning from military to civilian life, how to get a job (resume, searching, networking, etc), to VA (veterans assistance) preference and VA benefits (job, health care, education, etc).  Honestly, it's overwhelming.  Such a big transition is extremely frightening to me because I joined the Navy due to my last transition from college.  Having looked at my resume, I can see why no one wanted to hire me, but whatevs. Live and learn.

When we sat down over the period of 2 days to write resumes, I was overwhelmed.  2 days later, I'm still overwhelmed.  2 weeks from now I'm going to be overwhelmed.  Overwhelmed to the point of almost paralyzing fear.  I'm afraid to open up that word document with my resume in it to try to write those accomplishment bullets because I fear hitting that same wall that I was hitting all week.

Which leads us to the 2nd thing.  I'm pretty sure I struggled with writing my accomplishment statements because this week, work has made me feel like I'm a piece of crap.  Like I'm doing it all wrong because ONE project didn't get done by me.  We won't discuss the fact that it was delegated to me (which made it my fault in the end), despite having no experience on a project like this, not being the subject matter expert, and while simultaneously being overwhelmed by lack of manpower in the office, 10 million other tasks that had to be accomplished because they were time sensitive, and no (apparent) support from those higher than me (other than the good idea fairy officer that wanted this done asking us on the progress almost daily and me being up front with him by telling him that there were bigger things going on that week, and the next week, and the next week).

Nonetheless, it was my fault.  Additionally, despite being TAD (as in having orders to somewhere besides work), there was no boundary or respect for that or me.  Teh Bear and the lady who lead the majority of TAP class this week both said that this lack of boundary happens in the civilian world too.

I guess for me, the difficulty arises when there is no boundary whatsoever.  I understand my boss calling me to pass on imperative information after working hours.  But if it doesn't apply to me until next week?  Save it until I'm there on Monday morning.  Don't text me that my requested day off was cancelled.  My friends text me to hurry my ass up and get in the car when they are waiting on me.  I text people when I'm on my way.  I text Teh Bear when Phil is being cute.  I call and verbally communicate with professional contacts because that's what you do.  Verbal communication leaves almost no doubt because you can clarify right then if something is misunderstood or needs to be figured out.  Text messaging, not so much.  Inflection is lost, immediate response is lost, you're trying to type minimal words because you're on a cell phone using that stupid virtual keyboard.  As a communication major..  IT MATTERS HOW YOU COMMUNICATE YOUR MESSAGE. (sorry /stepoffsoapbox)

I doubt I would take a job where my boss thought it was ok to call me at 10pm and ask me questions when I'd be seeing them within the next 12-24 hours.  There is nothing so important at work that has to be done after everyone leaves because it will still be there tomorrow.  If you don't finish the time sensitive/dead line stuff prior to leaving work and you're not getting the job done, then that's not the job for you.

Which leads me to 2.5.  Having this blog while I'm going to be trying to find a job is petrifying to me since it's public.  I wonder if I should take a hiatus or take Teh Blog down while I'm job searching since cIdad?  Is there something so bad on Teh Blog that a company wouldn't hire me?  What about this exact post where I'm talking about work?

I've googled myself and I'm pretty much a ghost.  There are also several women/girls with my name, which kinda helps my case in a way.  Yet, images from Teh Blog will show up on a google image search and if you're smart enough to dig deep enough, you'd find this page... and I would assume that most HR reps who are involved in the hiring process are smart enough to dig deep enough since it's their job to weed folks out.  Or maybe they'll see that I love taking photos and writing and sharing stories and loving on Phil and volunteering and running in Color Runs.

Now you understand the almost petrifying fear.  There's so many pieces that have to come together to make the situation happen.  Yes, I'm at the baby step stage of this transition, but for me, planning is the hardest part, doing stuff is easy.  I can make appointments and I can file paperwork, but the process of preparation is the hardest for me because of all the unknowns.