Day 25, Saturday: Something someone told you about yourself that you'll never forget (good or bad)"You are a nice person, though."
It was very hard for me to learn to believe this. Seriously. I believed that I was the world's biggest bitch for the longest time. I mean, I still kinda am, but only when I have to be (I like to think). I believed that being nice equated to being taken advantage of, so it wasn't my natural state. I knew that being a mean, angry, bitch meant that people weren't going to mess with me, especially if I was different (which I am).
Also, my parents never stood out as "nice people". Not that they aren't. Just that they weren't like the nice mothers or fathers my friends had. Then after they were divorced, there was nothing nice at all about either of them that I got to hear. So maybe I was shaped to doubt my niceness. Maybe niceness isn't inherent to my family?
I also have learned that I'm a lot harder on myself than anyone else is on me and I believe that I'm being way "meaner" than people actually interpret. I do believe this stemmed from past relationships and how I was made to feel about things that happened. Isn't love a beautiful thing? lol.
I think nice is one of those words that's been used incorrectly for so long that it's meaning is really different depending on who you ask. You can be nice and polite without being a doormat, but at some point those two kind of got intermingled.
ReplyDeleteAnyway. You have been nice to me :)