Confessions {5/20}

-After all the encouragement (and being unable to "attain") All the Bright Places, I signed up for a library "card".  Technically I didn't get a card, but I did register with the library on base.  I really had no excuse not to.  I walk by the library each time I go to the gym (which has been frequently lately since it's been so hot/humid in the afternoons) so it was just a matter of taking the 5 minutes to fill out the paperwork.  #bookworm

-I've been wanting to make panna cotta since labor day 2014 when Mr. Scrooge came up to MD to visit me and we went to Olive Garden and I had it for the first time ever.  I looked up recipes and got overwhelmed at gelatin so I never bothered.  I did more research last weekend and kept reading about how easy it is so I bit the bullet and purchased all the ingredients.  Then I waited because I'm lazy.  The process of making it took 10 minutes.  The process of eating it could have taken less if I didn't have such amazing will power.  #foodismyweakness #therewerenophotos

-I get the "bye Felicia" thing, but I didn't GET it, so after seeing the below photo, I did some research and watched the video from the 90s where "bye Felicia" came from and I 100% get it now.  #byefelicia

-There is a chair fairy that comes in the office every single day and fucks up all the chairs in the conference rooms so they aren't where people actually sat.  It makes me crazy.  #putthingswhereyoufoundthem

-Related to the above, Mr. Scrooge puts things in different places each time he uses them or moves stuff that has a place all the time and it makes me crazy.  Crrrrrraaazzzzyyyyy.  So when I was trying to tell him that something was on the "beer shelf" in the fridge he was confused because he had put the beer on a different shelf since there wasn't room on the beer shelf at the time for the beer.  The beer always goes on the same shelf when I'm putting things away....  He said to me after I had to get up and physically hand him the bowls that he couldn't find because I was describing them on the beer shelf, "And you say I'm a control freak!"  #thisisnotOCD #organizationworks

-The blankets on my bed HAVE to be tucked under the mattress.  There is no laying the comforter over the bed all pretty.  No, no.  Apparently, I have a death wish in my sleep and I am constantly pulling the covers up.  The problem with this?  If the covers aren't tucked under the mattress, I end up with all the blankets around my head and my toes are freezing and I'm asphyxiating because I can't breathe because all the blankets are around my neck/face. #blanketstrytokillmeinmysleep

-Songs with obnoxiously long/high pitched guitar/trumpet sections/solos are my least favorite thing and guarantee I won't make it to the end of the song.  #kthxbye #noisepollution

-Now that it's sweaty summer time, after I blow dry my hair, I change the settings to cool and then blow dry the sweat off my body.  I especially like to put the dryer up the back of my shirt and down the back of my pants.. if I'm wearing clothes when I dry my hair.  If I'm not wearing clothes, it's game on all over for a cool blow.  Teehehee, sorry I couldn't help myself.  #hairdyersaremultipurpose #SometimesIPointTheHairDryerAtMyFaceAndPretendToBeInASuperModelPhotoShoot #noshame

-I've been using hair oil since January after pretty much raping my hair trying to get the blue out.  When I had my hair cut at Home, Home, my hair dresser commented on how soft my hair was and I was like #fuckyesbitches.  I love when shit works. #bluehairrocks #bleachedhairsucks

-I may or may not have stopped after the burial ceremony at my hair dressers place since she was right down the street from the cemetery, even though we were supposed to be going to a luncheon for the family.  I felt way less guilty about it after I arrived at the church after getting my hairs did and no one had eaten yet because the immediate family hadn't arrived yet.  #thepriceofbeauty #dontjudgeme

-Mr. Scrooge keeps a hatchet beside the bed.  It kinda freaks me out.  He claims it's for if someone were to ever break in...  Mmmmkay, sparky.  #selfdefense

-Mr. Scrooge has this ridiculous thing where he doesn't like messy eating/eaters... and I get it.. but holy shit if he tries to wipe my mouth again or hand me a napkin (because he thinks I don't have one when I do, I just haven't had a chance to use it because whatever messy food I'm devouring is too delicious to worry about the corners of my mouth at that moment/my hands are too messy to bother/I haven't had half a second to pick up my napkin), I might physically abuse him.  It's not like I've been sitting there with shit all over my face for a solid amount of time.. No no, this is like I take a bite and he immediately offers/attempts.  #wtfno  #iamanadult #icanwipemyownmouth #tyvm #rageescalatestoviolence

-I thought it might be slightly awkward to eat corn on the cob for lunch while sitting at my desk...  Yes I brought my own holders.  #donotcare #NothingComesBetweenMeAndFood

-18 days into May, I realized that my watch date was a day behind.  I haven't made the effort to fix it yet...  #daylateandadollarshort

-Speaking of 18 days into May, how the fuck did we already get through half of this month already?  #wheredoesthedaygo

-Sometimes when I'm looking at word documents that aren't for my work, I get very confused why they feel so cluttered... then I remember that I have proofmarking symbols on.  No proofmarks really clears up a document quick!  #techwriterproblems

-One of my quadrant mates has a new job and I'm a bit sad about it because he's the only person close-ish to my age at Company who can share military stories with me and understand my plight in life.  The other reason I'm all the sads is because it's making me wonder what other jobs are out there for me, which leads me to not wanting my clearance to expire which leads me to "do I want to do tech writing for forever?" "do I want to get back into the intel world?" "what about the shitty schedule/shift work that comes with the intel world?"  Just all the considerations and all the things. #workingwoman #firstworldproblems

-Company uses SharePoint at work as a file management/sharing system and I really struggle with people who don't understand how to use it.  Leaving a file open in your browser means that you're the only one who can make changes and if you don't respond to your tech writer for several hours, she starts to get pissy when she's being cock blocked by your retardation.  #l2technology