Five on Friday #117

EINS

Things I bought this week (so much for not spending money):

-a new washer and dryer.  This was a purchase we've been planning for and it came out of House account, so it's an acceptable purchase.  A several months ago, a repairman told me that it wasn't worth fixing the washer we have and to plan to buy a new one when the brake on this one goes out.  It's gotten louder and louder lately and I do NOT want to be in the situation where we have a washer full of water and laundry that we have to deal with.  Not with school coming and work and wedding and visitors.  Just no.  When I heard it clunking this past weekend, all I could think of was that it would die on Oct 25th or something and we'd be having to beg the neighbors to use their laundry machines and that just wasn't a hassle I needed to deal with, so I finally bit the bullet and made the purchase.

I'm ready for you babies.
Names TBD.. because everything gets a name.

-food/beverage outings that were completely unnecessary.
-I paid off the $100 remaining on my phone to reduce my Verizon bill by $20, kinda not really saving money.
-Groot and friends (plants from Lowes)
-New rugs (for the master and the current rugs will be relocated), shower hooks, and toothbrush holders for the bathrooms as part of the de-Monster-ization of the guest bathroom.
-Coconut oil for Pax's flaky problem.
-I paid to have the dog's nails cut by a professional.  $16 was worth saving the 30 minutes + drama it would have taken me to do it for free.  It took the guy 5 minutes max for both dogs.  DUN.
-Dermatologist copay.
-Prescriptions from the Derm.  Woot for more Herpaderp meds and testing out some Doxy to see if it keeps the HS (hidradenitis suppurativa) away.
-Coffee canister that Teh German requested.
-Earplugs.  I'm almost out due to use and Meri eating them.  She's a gem.  #goatdog
-New backpack
-Anniversary gift for Teh German (which is pretty epic).  I also thought of what I'm going to get him as a wedding present and I've gotten feedback that it's a pretty awesome gift.  #likeaboss
-Birthday gift cert
-Baby shower gifts
-Termite inspection/treatment (from the House account, so it doesn't really count)
-Dance lessons


TL;DR: I would never be successful at a no-spend month.

ZWEI

I will be returning my new HP laptop to Best Buy.  It's done nothing but give me problems and I'm over it.  After dealing with the video card problem, which is only half resolved since Lightroom doesn't use the Nvidia card, now I can't get Microsoft Office to install and rather than troubleshoot the issue, I'm calling it quits on this laptop.  It's not worth my hassle.  All these problems are why I'm glad I ordered the laptop in the beginning of July, because these issues would have been extremely problematic by the middle of next month when I want things ready to go for school.

I almost found a Dell I liked, but then I realized it didn't have a number pad and that good idea was nixxed.  I don't really want a 17" computer, but I kinda do, but then I remember that I have to heft this bad boy around and that makes me want the 15" more.  It's hard to be me.  Seriously.

Also, the extra big sucky thing about returning the new laptop is that I already stickered it and I bought those stickers on sale and they aren't on sale no more.  Siiiiiiiigh.

DREI

From Dorothy:

I hate these ads around town.  Essentially this dude's face is photoshopped onto various characters and it's just... not good.  There's also one near base where his face is on Uncle Sam and please just make it stop.

Storm clouds on my way home after I hit traffic within 7 minutes of leaving my house for work.  #CharlestonWeather  There was probably a 10% chance of rain all day.  BOOM.  Between it being impossible to see through the windshield because of the rain, the brightness of the lightning, and the distractedness of messing with a cell phone while driving, traffic was fucked up and I chose to telework until traffic cleared.  #solidlifechoices

WTF is a "New Age Drink"?

Teh German brought home flowers and Willie Jewell's bread pudding for me as a surprise.
I'm gonna marry the shit out of him.

SOMEONE... (PAX) decided that they wanted a salad and nibbled on my Carolina Reaper plants.
These babies still haven't made fruit, but they are alive.
So ya know, baby steps.

Came home to this yesterday and I couldn't figure out why the bed was messed up.

This morning while I was getting ready for work, I got to experience Meri and Pax playing on the bed and Meri likes to spin in circles, which is why our bed gets unmade.
We thought she was nesting because Teh Cloud wasn't comfortable enough for her.
Lesson learned.
Also, Pax can get up on the bed which means his ass can jump in the car.  He'll be getting lessons on "up, up" ASAP.

VIER

My dogs have been extra fucking adorable this week.  In fact, we had a singalong this morning while I was getting ready for work.  This also makes Pax want to play.  All my cute dog videos. #notsorry

FÜNF

10 things that made me happy this week:

1. Teleworking when necessary.
2. Suplize from Teh German.
3. Teh German doing everything for dinner on Thursday night.
4. Helping Teh German relocate the wood pile after he built a new wood holder from pallets.
5. Laughter about my screams after a really big fucking bug jumped out at me Tuesday evening.
6. Singalongs with Meri and Pax.
7. Starting new books, even if I didn't get to finish the last set.
8. Narrowing down next laptop options.
9. Parks and Rec.
10. Under 100 days until Wedding.

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.

It's Ok #2

I'm already makin' changes...  I think instead of It's Ok Wednesday.. It's just going to be Brain Dump Wednesday around here.  Mostly because I'm trained in the way of confessions and It's Ok was limiting me a bit too much for my liking...  #myblogmyrules




-It's ok...that I realized that many businesses have super sales in the summer to encourage people to buy shit.  Summertime is often for vacation and people realize they need to start saving for Christmas shopping.  Sales = more people shopping.

-It's ok... to make fun of people who park like assholes.  Especially if they do it in the parking spots closest to the entrance.  This situation was so obvious that the driver was either blind or purposely did not give a fuck.  #Ihateeveryone

-It's ok...to be angry at people for self-harm or committing suicide.  Heath Ledger, Chester Bennington, Robin Williams...  I'm pissed at all of you.

-It's ok...that most of my clothes make me look like I am way larger than I actually am.  People are going to think I'm suuuuuper skinny in my wedding dress!

-It's ok...that I refuse to pay someone a mabillionty dollhairs to do my hair and makeup for the wedding.  Looking at different websites so far I'd pay anywhere from $250-$500 for a trial run and the day of make up and hair.  YOU GUYS, I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT HAIR AND MAKEUP.  SERIOUSLY.

-It's ok...that I had a hard time picking out a collar for Pax.  In my mind, all the big collars I have are "Phil's".  I'm even struggling with the holiday ones.  I feel a little bit of guilt that Pax is wearing Phil's "gentleman" collar, but Phil isn't using them and I paid good money for those collars and they should get worn.
TL;DR: Grief is complicated.

-It's ok...  that I got frustrated with Teh German on Sunday night.  I was exhausted and I didn't sit down other than for dinner until 8pm.  Even after I did the dishes for him, he didn't bother to offer to help me clean up after dinner or with the laundry.  I felt he was being extremely selfish and my struggle was real.

-It's ok... that I took a lorzapam on Sunday night because I was so angry and Teh German and I were having a silence off (different than the silent treatment because in a silence off, you don't want to be the first one to break the silence by having to point out the obvious (that you're angry) or you don't want to ask what is wrong (because you know you caused it)) and I wasn't going to get to sleep with any promptness without the aid of medicine.

-It's ok... that the lorzapam gave me the IDGAFs all day on Monday.

-It's ok... that I have to make a goals list and mark things off the list as I go to actually accomplish things.  Everything swimming in my head is ineffective.

-It's ok... that I can't eat just one Reese's Cup.

Gluten free = healthy, right?

-It's ok... that I am tempted to go down to the pizza place and buy one of those delicious brownies.. every.single.day.

-I confess that I find it disgusting when people cut their fingernails at work... Except that I clean out under my fingernails regularly with the clippers I keep on my desk.  Equally nasty, but without the sound.

-I confess that sometimes my associations with things are a wee bit distant which means that other people don't often make the connection.. Like when I sent Teh WJL this photo of my Kindle earlier this week because I knew the dude was from Saved By the Bell...

-I confess that I don't really want to keep paying $45 per dance lesson.  Butttt, I really want to have a not prom-dance first dance, so I'll stick with it.

-I confess that I requested for another estimate for a screened in porch.  This time I'll have our plot in hand so the estimator can look at it and see if we can get around this easement issue that is 4 ft from our back door.  Seriously.  It's killing my juju to hear how badly Teh German wants a screened in porch and we don't have one.  It may also kill our wallets but it is the ONE thing Teh German would like to do to the house on the outside and I agree that it would be awesome.

-It's ok... to encourage a 10 year old to "run" with the dogs to drain both their energy stores.

-It's ok... that I started my commute to work and hit traffic within 5 minutes of leaving home and turned my ass around to telework for the morning because #aintnobodygottimefordat

-It's ok... that my library books expired before I could finish them.  Except that I was 2 hours from the end of my audiobook and that's kind of a bummer really.  But I requested them again and I will finish them.  In the meantime, I started Beartown.shop

-It's ok... to take selfies at the doctor's office for blogging purposes.

Despite that face, I was actually at the dermatologist, not the dentist.

Weekend Review {7/24}

FRIDAY

After making good on my word about getting a document sent off by Friday, it was fuck off time.  I don't know what it was about last week, but no matter who I talk to, everyone says the same thing.. Last week was fucking brutal.  I was no exception to that.  I stayed at the office until 1:15 and I was done.  On my way home, I finally picked up some Sudafed and then made a stop by Lowe's to pick up a new family member... well, memberS, but I wanted something for the living room and did some research while I was work and decided on what I wanted and pulled the trigger.  WTF am I talking about?  I bought a house tree/plant thing.  It's name is Groot (courtesy of Teh German) and I didn't take a single picture of it.  #meganfail

After getting home from Lowe's, I unpacked the car, started to repot the plants, but realized I needed stones to do it properly and redirected to doing laundry.  I don't remember what else I did while I was waiting on Teh German to get home from work, but it obviously wasn't life changing.  Under the threat of a return date, I've been trying to power through my audiobook before the library steals it back.  There's one person in line for both the audiobook and ebook I have in progress, so at least turn around should be quick if I can't finish.

We agreed to leave around 5:30 to head to dinner at Carolina Ale House.  We had our first dance lessons at 7:30.  It was informative and it was when we were sitting in the parking lot that Teh German's anxiety got the better of him and we had a squabble.  After dance lessons, we made a pit stop at home to let the beasts out and then headed downtown for a birthday party bar hop.

We left the bar around 0145.  I was the driver and after we dropped Teh SC German and Teh SC Teacher off at the parking garage were they parked, we headed home.  We tackled the bedtime chores and then we crashed hard.

SATURDAY

Teh German got up with the dog on Saturday morning and when he came back to bed, we slept until 0930.  I got up and picked up the house.  There were dog toys every.freakin.where and we had stuff strewn all over any flat surface.  I even changed the dog's collars!  We're Charleston themed this round.  Pineapples for Meri and seersucker for Pax. 

With some motivation, I finally started getting ready to head out to accomplish things.  Our first stop was the Stingrays summer sale.  I'm always up for some clearance shopping, but after standing in line for 30 minutes, my back started to hurt and I got whiny and Teh German agreed we could leave and go get lunch.  I promised that I would buy the shirt he wants during the season since it wasn't on clearance anyways. 

This was the line for merchandise.

We had an appointment at our venue to meet our wedding coordinator and a decorator lady I discovered on Facebook at 2, so we opted to go to Page's Okra Grill for lunch.  As always, I was not disappointed.  Well, it did take forever for my pancakes to come out, but whatevs.

After brunch, we headed to Alhambra to meet Christie and Marie.  We came up with a decorating game plan and we lost several pounds because #Charlestonsummer = sweattastic.

Teh German and I headed home.  I worked on some laundry and laid down for a nap.  Eventually, Teh German joined me.  At 5, the alarm went off, which meant it was time to get up and get ready for our next outing: 90s night at the piano bar.  And in true fashion of the neighbor besties, we dressed the part.  Teh PT Neighbors and Teh Dental Hygienist and Teh AF Maintainer went to the thrift store while we were out and found some epic 90s outfits for us to wear.  I fetched mine and Teh German's outfits from Teh PT House and delivered them back to Teh German who was not thrilled to be dressing up.  Finally, I reminded him of all the other times he'd dressed up for something and it turned out to be awesome instead of dreadful (specifically, that one time that he dressed up like a fairy to run a 1/2 marathon with Teh Running Bestie and I and said it was pretty cool to have people comment on how awesome he was).

We were late for the start, butttttt we did made it and we got cheered at by the performers since we were so tastefully dressed.  Also, riding around in the cargo area of an SUV with someone who is trying to get somewhere in a hurry is a bit... pinball-esque.  It doesn't help when you're wearing wind suit pants that are sticking to your legs but not the rubber mat under your ass.  #90sproblems

The show was awesome and I agreed that next time, we'd come to the 9pm show since that's when the cool kids showed up aaannndd that show ends but the music goes on until 0200, so we don't get kicked out immediately after the show.  Again, I got props for my sing-along skills, this time from the female pianist.  Dave, the guy who is always there recognized me when I brought up my suggestions.  I did get 2 Goo Goo Dolls songs, so I was thrilled.  I knew there was no way they could get through all of the requests, so it was ok.

After the show, we headed to D'Al's for pizza.  Teh PT Husband said the food was pretty good and he's an Italian from NY so we just let him make the judgement.  I knew it was good.  After pizza, we headed back home.  We transitioned into the correct decade and then headed over with the dogs for smoking hour.

By midnight, it was sleepy time.  We gathered up the beasts and headed home to take care of bedtime chores, laundry, and then it was bedtime.

SUNDAY

Since Teh German had gotten up with the beasts on Saturday, I took Sunday duty.  I considered going back to bed, but I had an ever-growing to-do list in my head that I finally put to paper.  In addition to a goals list of house projects.  My head was less full after writing everything down, which was nice, but I actually needed to accomplish some of the tasks.  I started with the most time-sensitive task: photo editing.  I finished up right as Teh German came downstairs shortly before 10.  We had a Skype date with Papa G at 10.  We caught up for about 45 minutes. 

These assholes wake me up at 0615 demanding breakfast and then they can't even hang.
Bitches.

Friday night, we had made plans with Teh German's former roommate to go out on his boat at noon on Sunday.  We started getting ready around 11 and we headed to Bushy Park to meet a little after noon.

Everyone but me did some wakeboarding.  Teh German and I agreed that with a $75,000 ass, I shouldn't push the limits of the hip healing process.  I even agreed to not tubing if it was an option.  Boooooo.  Nonetheless, we had fun.  I not only wore sunscreen, but I REAPPLIED sunscreen!  BOOM.

Unfortunately, lightning ran us off the river.  On the way home, I could have fallen asleep in the truck I was so tired.  I realized right in time that I needed to go by the grocery store before going home.  After a pitstop at Publix, we headed home.  Immediately, I started making chicken and gnocchi soup for dinner.  Because Groot and friends (new succulents and I'll probably kill) were chillin' on the patio in a half complete state, Teh German was bothered by it.  Probably also could have been because Groot was sitting on the table and fell over and there was potting soil all over the patio that I needed a strong wind to clear away, but my hopes were fruitless.  I potted Groot in his new house.  After putting Groot in his place in the living room, I cleaned myself up, Teh German carried the potting soil and extra pots to the garage while I did the laundry and the dishes, all while checking in on dinner. 

Teh German showered and after I showered, it was time for dinner.  Rather than getting a rotissaire chicken, I just used some chicken I had cooked in the crockpot last week since it needed to be used.  The only ingredient I didn't have on hand was gnocchi because when I had went to the store, they only had the regular size and we like the minis (#firstworldproblem, I know), thus the imperative trip to Publix.  Despite a toss together soup, it was still delicious.  I'm pretty sure there was taco seasoning on the chicken, but it didn't taste bad to me.

After dinner, I cleaned up and worked on puzzle since Teh German was already watching YouTube videos.  Teh PT Wife and Husband came over to pick up the SD card with the wedding photos on it and headed home for dinner.  I told Teh German we could watch Parks and Rec but the TV never turned on and the YouTube videos didn't stop, so I just kept puzzling. 

Around 9, I put the dogs out, did my bedtime chores, put away another load of laundry (never.fucking.ending.loads.of.laundryyyy.. uuuggghh), and went bed.  Teh German followed soon after.  I was ragey for a variety of reason that don't need to be aired out here and my brain wouldn't stfu, so I got up and took a lorzapam and I'm almost certain I didn't move all night long until my alarm went off this morning.  I still have the IDGAFs because of the lorzapam, but IDGAF soooo yeah.

___________________________________________

Overall, a very fun weekend.  Unfortunately, I'm exhausted and I'm already planning for a lazy weekend next weekend.  The only things scheduled for this week are PT sessions, dermatologist appointment on Tuesday, Dan Ryan is coming on Tuesday morning to maybe do some repairs, the dogs will get their nails done this week.  This weekend includes another dance lessons session and probably brunch on Saturday so Teh PT Neighbors can finally go to Page's Okra Grill.

My goals list is long and formidable, but I have high hopes I can start actually tackling some of that shit.  I have a feeling that once school starts, I'll have zero time to actually accomplish personal things and many of the items on that list I would like to accomplish before the wedding since they are mostly house projects.

PS.  1 of 3 miserable months of summer almost complete!  Bring on October!!!

Days until wedding: 100
Days until school starts: 30 days

Five on Friday #116

EINS

I'm trying to decide what we're going to watch after we finish Parks and Recreation.. yes, already.  I'm torn between starting Teh German on Mad Men (because I need to watch the last season) or Game of Thrones.  The problem is, both of these options have episodes that are at least 40+ minutes long.  23 minute episodes are perfect.  Also, I've been GOT sober for 2 years now and I need to be strong.  Yes, I've read the books, but it's finnnneeeee.. #meganproblems

Also, the trailer came out for Outlander and it's more and more tempting to watch Outlander just to get in a few doses of Scottish accent.  Maybe I just need to jump on book 5 for some Davina Porter narration.

That would be approximately 5 year worth of Outlander books I have already purchased to listen to...

Maybe I should just focus on reading and finishing up my challenge so I can get spend a mabillionty hours listening to Davina Porter's voice?

ZWEI

Hi, my name is Megan and I have a spending problem... and I neeeeeeeed to stop.

I've noticed recently that when I look at my cart when I'm checking out (online of course, because going to the store makes me stabby) and ask myself, "Do I need this or want this?"  A lot of the time I'm coming back with "want" and then telling myself, "well, ok, but we're not going to do this regularly."  Annnnnnddd it's become regular.  I've bought a lot of shit this summer that has been wants.  Granted, I've found most of the items on sale, but spending money on wants isn't saving money for things like... wedding.

I think my real problem is that my dollars are not currently allocated to anything in particular so I give them a home by buying shit I don't necessary need.

Things I've bought over the last few months that are complete wants, not needs:
-Disney movies
-Woot shirts
-Kindle
-Fancy shampoo/conditioner.  This was kind of a need, but I probably could have found something else for cheaper.
-Wallflowers from Bath and Body Works
-Stickers for my computer
-Pillows for the entry bench
-New purse
-Sooo many food/beverage purchases (beer, coffee, milkshakes, lunch out, etc)
-Puzzles (which have brought me much joy)
-Stuff to make my own cleaning solution (complete waste)
-Unnecessary dog toys
-Dog treats (cheese sticks and bully sticks), these were kind of a need when I was disabled and unable to take the dogs on walks and they needed something to burn the energy off.
-A month of car washes/detailing (which I will greatly miss after I'm no longer doing PT)
-Extra stamps because they were Disney Villains
-Date night splurge (which technically falls under want, but was an exception I was willing to make since we rarely do special date nights)
-Race entry fees


This is all in addition to my regular monthly spending for wants:
-Spotify
-Audible
-Eating out


There are things I could definitely be saving for, but I haven't made them a priority like I need to:
-All things wedding...
-Honeymoon things
-Redecorating the guest bathroom.  I'm finally willing to give up the Monsters.  #adultingsucks
-Back splash in the kitchen
-Some type of furniture piece for the dining room
-Some type of plant for the living room
-A chair for the master bedroom
-Decorating Guest Room and First Child Room
-Paint
-My I 💓Me wall in the office.  I want to get a GTMO flag framed and make a shadow box for my ribbons/uniform patches.

DREI

From my phone:

So Teh Dad left Teh German and I a note on the counter when we were in NC.  I'll just transcribe this for you.

The original note said:
"I will call you after church about lunch"

When I got up, I responded to his "text"...
"Good, I'm starving."

Then added the rest of it.  Full transcription:
Texting, 1990s style:
Teh Dad: I will call you after church about lunch
Teh Megan: Good, I'm starving.

______
Later in 2017:
M: Why didn't you answer my text?
D: What text?
M: The text on the counter.



Apparently, my very literal sense of humor doesn't come from Teh Dad because he didn't get my "text" joke.  Or I'm just too much of a reading geek for everyone else.  Either of those options are highly probable.

VIER

This reporter's reaction to Trump, Jr.'s announcement gave me the lolz.

Oldie but goodie.  Women's Aren't Crazy.

FÜNF

10 things that made me happy this week:

1. Friday being extra short after an extremely long week.
2. Nothing at our house being damaged from the crazy storms on Wednesday evening.
3. Needing a new hole in my belt.. on the "too skinny" side.
4. Teh German telling me that his lunch of leftovers was on point.
5. Finally rehanging my cork boards with my Disney pins in my cube at work.
6. Managing to come up with a BAB blog, even if it wasn't great.
7. Teh German giving Pax an impromptu bath since Pax was flaky.
8. Rob Lowe in my living room making me laugh.
9. Shaving my legs.
10. Getting my new laptop back!

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.

It's OK #1

I'm switching gears on my Gentle Readers..

For years and years, I've done Confessions on Wednesday, but recently, I've found I don't really have as many things to confess.  And let's just be honest, mostly it was just a catch all post with me bitching about/telling you things that have happened in the last week.

More and more recently I've realized that I need to let myself off the hook for things I do.. or don't do.  I need to let things just be ok, so that's what these posts will be about... and maybe with some confessions.  #myblogmyrules

So this week... It is OK that:

...Sometimes I forget that I PayPal-ed money to myself and it just sits in a PayPal account.  This sucks because I'm not earning interest on my money... BUUUTTT it means that there's a very nice surprise waiting on me when I discover it.  This is applicable because I had Teh Sister order my new laptop so she could get the Best Buy reward points (since she has let us use her rewards several times) and I sent her the money through PayPal.  When I signed in to one of my accounts (I have 3 for the 3 different checking accounts I have, yes I'm ridiculous), there was $1000 just chillin' there.  It was like I had been saving that money for a new computer all along and I didn't even know about it.  So I bought my new computer and it didn't affect my account balances and I feel like a winner.

...that I let Sweet Tea on the couch.  It wasn't a fight I was willing to have and she already mostly hated me.

...that I also let Edie on the couch.  Even if it meant I had to spot clean the couch because her mouth was bleeding from treats I gave her...

...I bought 2 Kindles.  It means Teh PT Kid might get a new Kindle... and Teh German doesn't have to deliver a package to the UPS store.

...I haven't read a WW2 themed book in months.  I think.  It's nice to get out of "my" genre every now and then.  It also means I'm plowing through my challenge books.

...today is an "off" day.  We went to sleep late last night and I woke up late this morning.  I opted to wear a cute dress that I don't normally wear (hooray surgery diet).  As I was walking out the door, I dropped my full cup of tea and it spilled all over me and the floor and the runner.  Also since I was late, I had to deal with extra stupidos in morning traffic.  I'm afraid to even say out loud that it can't get worse, because it always can.

...that I was ready to give up on Parks and Rec.  We finally finished Modern Family and now we're back to watching Parks and Rec and after a miserable slog through seasons 1 and the first half of season 2, I'm finally catching myself LOLing ANNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDD Rob Lowe has finally made his appearance and holy shit is he hot. 

...that it took 2 seconds of Rob Lowe being on the tv for me to admit to Teh German that Rob Lowe is my old man crush.  That said, do NOT read Rob Lowe's books.  They aren't that good.  #Illsaveyou

...that we've been thinking of Phil a lot this week.  Teh SC Greyhound Neighbor took Edie to the vet on Monday and Edie has now journeyed to the Bridge (aka her mom let her go/eased her pain/had her put to sleep).  My heart hurts for Teh SC Greyhound Neighbor because she was extremely close with Edie and because our own grief is still fairly fresh.  We cried for Edie and her Mom and Phil and then we hugged Pax and Meri extra tight.  As I told Teh German, we choose to love knowing we are entering into eventual heart break but that will never stop me from opening my heart to loving a pet. 

...that I didn't change my dress after I spilled tea all over myself this morning.  I just wiped myself down and cleaned up the mess and carried the fuck on. 

...that I wore Minnie leggings to work.  #Imanadultdammit

...that I ordered 3 sheets of Villains stamps.  #worthit

Shit Teh German Said #11

T: Dammit, why are you turning without a signal light?
M: I think they are stopping for a goose.
T: Ah. No, that's not a goose...
M: I meant heron.
T: I want to honk, but I can't because that car will think I'm honking at them.  You lucky bird!  You're a lucky bird because I can't honk at you.  BUT I WOULD!
 

While reading a news headline
T: "Shooter opened fire at a sports bar... But he forgot he was in Texas.." That probably backfired.



M: If you don't follow the rules, you die!
T: That's something a German would say.


Teh German's belly growled as we sat down to eat dinner.
T: It's coming!  Wait!


M: I know it's not as funny when I tell you as when Phil does. (Phil from Modern Family)
T: Oh, that Phil Humpfy.
M: DUMPHY!


I showed Teh German a photo of one of my senior pics with some obviously 90s chunky/platform shoes and continue showing him other photos of me when I was younger.
T: I'm marrying that one.
I pull up a photo of me in Target wearing a pizza costume.
M: Yeah, but you're also marrying this one too.


Often, Teh German and I will receive the same spam mail.  While I was ripping up an envelope from Geico, he says:
T: You don't know what scam you have!


M: You can do it, babe.
T:  I know I can.  I just don't want to.


T: Oh bathrobes!  I need a bathrobe!  I used to love bathrobes as a kid!




Shit Teh German Said Edition 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11

Weekend Review {7/17}

FRIDAY

After my Ortho appointment (where I learned that I could have been hip brace free 2 weeks ago), I went home and worked on my Friday post and did a little work.  I stalked the UPS site for when my laptop would be delivered and despite the 0945-1:45 estimate, it arrived after I left at 4:50... of course.

I headed to Moncks Corner with Teh PT Family to photograph their Mom's wedding.  After a simple ceremony, we took some photos on the train tracks and we set up for the reception.  The reception was a blast and we made it home around midnight.  Teh German and Teh Dental Hygienist came for the reception. 

Teh Dental Hygienist drove since she was test driving a new car.  This is only relevant because we were 90% of the way home when Teh German questioned if the vehicle's lights were on, which would cause the problem of there being no interior light.  Turns out, they were not.  Oops.  She's fully aware she'll never live it down.

We came home to bloody vomit on the rug downstairs.  Carpet cleaner use since Friday morning at 0515: 4.  It was at this point, I admitted defeat and agree with Teh German, no more dog sitting.

SATURDAY

The weekend goals were slim, which was nice.  I got up and fed the beasts, not wanting to deal with another session with the carpet cleaner.  I had intended on going back to bed, but the lure of a new computer was just too much for me.  I spent about 2 hours downloading programs and setting up the computer.  I put my new stickers on it.  I was pumped.  I uploaded the wedding photos and subscribed (ugh) to Lightroom and Photoshop (PS) to start working on photo editing.  I was going through the setting in Photoshop and noticed that PS was using the integrated graphics card instead of the Nvidia video card.  This is a problem because I specifically upgraded the video card in the computer for exactly this purpose.  After some troubleshooting, I couldn't fix the problem so I admitted defeat and decided to bring the laptop to Best Buy after my hair appointment.

Stickers!

I headed back to bed to take a nap.  I got up with Teh German around 10 and we had a slow start.  I tried to troubleshoot again with no success.  Teh German and I agreed that I would clean the toilets and he would clean the sinks so we could accomplish my lone weekend goal: to clean the bathrooms.

Around 1, I finally started getting ready for my appointment at 2.  We were super unmotivated.  I think I found a hair person in Charleston.  I'm sure several people will have outbursts of joy when they read that.  She was very nice and explained everything she was doing to my hair.  I explained that I was trying to grow it for the wedding.  I was pleased to see there was not a lot of hair on the floor after I got up.  I got several compliments on my blow out. 

I headed to Best Buy, trying to be optimistic.  Naive.  There was only 1 Geek at the Geek Squad desk since the other person was dispatched out on calls, strike 1.  The Geek at the desk seemed like he might be moderately proficient so I explained the problem and what I had done to troubleshoot the issue.  He suggested downloading the drivers directly from the Nvidia website, which we started the 7 minute download for.  And at 1 minute left, he needed the serial number and closed the laptop to get it...  Then when he came to check on the download a few minutes later I got to inform him that it had cancelled... when he had shut the laptopm strike 2.  He then said to me, "Oh, I thought it would download in the background."  Uhhhhhhhhh, what?  So we have to restart the download and at this point, I'm getting frustrated and he's already checking in my computer for drop-off, which should have been my indication that he wasn't going to be able to help me fix the problem, but again.. naive.

We could have been friends.. but noooooooo.

While all this was going on, I spoke to Teh SC Greyhound neighbor (who we were dog sitting for) to explain some of the issues we were having.  We agreed that she shouldn't come home right away, but that I needed her to be aware of the issues. 

I ended up leaving my brand new laptop at Best Buy with no idea of when I'd get it back.  Depressed, I headed home.  Teh German was outside (where it was no less than 98°F outside) washing Baloo.  The soap was drying and I helped him by rinsing since he refused to wash then rinse sections.  Have I mentioned lately how stubborn he is?  Anyways...  He said he had already cleaned the sinks, so I went inside and called Teh Running Bestie to chat while I cleaned the toilets.  After the toilets were cleaned, I started working on the puzzle while we chatted.  Eventually Teh German came inside and showered. 

Teh German puzzles vs Teh Megan puzzles....

After I got off the phone, we tried to make a dinner plan but I wasn't feeling it.  My motivation level was at the bottom of the scale.  I had planned to make chicken enchiladas and the chicken was cooked (yay crockpot), but needed to be shredded and then the enchiladas stuffed and baked and that was just too much effort for me.  I ended up mostly skipping out on dinner and I don't even remember what Teh German ate. 

Dinner of champions.  I didn't eat the entire cup.
So yah know, moderation.

Teh German has this habit of constantly perusing the Facebook Marketplace for "things" and he actually found some runner steps for Baloo for a super low price.  The only hitch was that they were located in GA and he'd have to drive down there to fetch them.  I told him to go for it and he made plans for a drive to GA on Sunday.  It ended up working out super since the seller was even willing to help Teh German install them when he picked them up. 

Later, we went over to Teh PT House for celebratory smoking hour since they had upgraded their vehicle situation. 

Carpet cleaner use since Friday at 0515: 5

SUNDAY

Sunday morning, Teh German got up with the beasts.  He ended up coming back to bed until his alarm went off, at which point he got up and got ready and I checked my phone since I wasn't able to go back to sleep.  I had a massage scheduled at 2 (a neighbor is an LMT and she was coming to the house), but since Teh German was already out (which wasn't planned when I made the appointment), I messaged her and told her if she wanted to bump up the appointment time, that worked for me.  We agreed on doing it at 1 and I took the time to social media, write up the weekly menu, make a store list, and hit up Walmart (ugh) and Bilo.  I still didn't find everything I needed, so I'll be making a trip to Publix at some point, but that's fine. 

I didn't realize when I had Yurtle cleaned that they had folded the blankets and put them in the back.
SUUUPPPPPEEERRRR impressed with Tidal Wave.  I wish they were closer.

I made it home by 1215 and Roux's Humom, Teh PT Family, and Teh Dental Hygienist came over to meet Sweet Tea.  Everyone left when the masseuse arrived.  We set up right in the living room, which was fine with me.  Amazingly, the dogs were angels and other than the power flashing due to some crazy storms, there were no disturbances. 

Tired dogs are the best dogs.

She was awesome and I happily recommended her to several people.  Teh PT Wife had brought in a box when she came in and it was my new, correct color, Kindle. 

Side story: I accidentally ordered a black Kindle on Prime Day and didn't realize until it was too late to cancel it.  So I ordered a 2nd Kindle in the color that I wanted.  Because it was so late in the day, it wouldn't arrive till later.  Boooo, hiss. 

I happily added my stickers to my Kindle, put the case on and I was messing around on it when Teh German arrived home.  The 7 makes me sooo much happier than the 10.  It's not as heavy in my hands and I can tap to turn the pages!  I'm trying to figure out what to do with the Kindle 10 now and I seriously have no idea.  There is currently no trade-in option for it either.  :(

After checking out his new steps (which would have made getting in and out of Baloo much easier 6 weeks ago), I showered and got ready for a birthday dinner at Swig and Swine.  We got to ride in Teh PT Husband's Hummer-limo sized truck (a Toyota Tundra).  When we got home, we were locked out of the house!  We couldn't figure out what was going on.  Teh German asked me if I locked the door (from the garage to the house) and I laughed at him and said, "I never lock any doors!" 

Luckily, I have a house key on Yurtle's fob and I was able to let us in.  Teh German was almost afraid to come in after I walked in and said, "Oh shit."  I walked into the house and the downstairs was littered with dog collars and various items that were in a container in the closet.  A closet that I had, apparently, not closed the door to after I put something away before we left.  #lessonlearned

The dogs had a blast while we were gone.  Phil's muzzle had been chewed up, Pax's racing muzzle had been chewed up, the buckle was eaten off the paracord collar Teh Sister made for Phil.  Toys that I had been hoarding were strewn about the house.  It was like they had a party without us.  It was so exciting that they locked the deadbolt on the door!  Fortunately, only a collar was destroyed in the party, so that's a positive. 

After we got everything cleaned up, Teh SC Greyhound Neighbor arrived to pick up Edie and Sweet Tea.  We chatted about Edie and my concern over her lack of eating and her not greeting anyone when they came in.  Edie really wasn't interested in getting off our couch, so Teh SC Greyhound Neighbor had to pick her up.  When she put her on the floor, Edie was knuckling and Teh German and I saw it and exchanged a look that Teh SC Greyhound Neighbor didn't miss.  On our way to the car, she asked me to tell it to her straight and I said that knuckling is a neurological issue... or it could just be that Edie was laying funny and her foot was asleep.  Time would tell.  Edie was supposed to go to the vet today, so I have my fingers crossed.

After our house was settled again, Teh German and I headed over to Teh PT House for a little bit.  Shortly after 9, I decided it was bedtime and we ran home in the ran.  Yep, I ran.  Not like a sprint.. but more effort than I'm used to.  Once home, we did our pre-bed chores and passed out.  Pretty sure I didn't move all night I was so tired.

Final carpet cleaner use count for the weekend: 7
This means that we're going to have to fully clean the runner downstairs again and pull it outside to dry, as well as the rubber mats underneath.  Kind of a pain in the ass, especially on a week where it's going to rain.  Le siiiiiigh.

______________________________________________

Teh German said it was a productive weekend and I guess it was.  Truthfully, I didn't feel all that productive and I kinda felt lazy, but there was an undercurrent of frustration the entire weekend at all the vomit, shit, and piss in our house.  The party the dogs had last night made them soooo tired that no one budged this morning until it was actually breakfast time.  Generally, the dogs will move around in the mornings while we get ready, but not this morning.  I anticipate many naps throughout the day for them today and hopefully tomorrow too since it's scheduled to rain all week long.

This week is kinda busy.  PT Mon/Thurs.  The builder will be coming on Weds to make repairs (hopefully) and Yurtle has an oil change that day.  Friday we have dance lessons and then a birthday bar-hop to attend.  Next weekend will be kinda hectic since our Saturday is already full.

Tomorrow is everyone's favorite post, Shit Teh German Said!

Gratuitous dog photos:

Oh yeah and I just want to share this kick in the pants with you: 107 days till wedding day.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. 
Additionally, 14 days until Teh German no longer has a choice about what he wears.