Shit Teh German Said #11

T: Dammit, why are you turning without a signal light?
M: I think they are stopping for a goose.
T: Ah. No, that's not a goose...
M: I meant heron.
T: I want to honk, but I can't because that car will think I'm honking at them.  You lucky bird!  You're a lucky bird because I can't honk at you.  BUT I WOULD!
 

While reading a news headline
T: "Shooter opened fire at a sports bar... But he forgot he was in Texas.." That probably backfired.



M: If you don't follow the rules, you die!
T: That's something a German would say.


Teh German's belly growled as we sat down to eat dinner.
T: It's coming!  Wait!


M: I know it's not as funny when I tell you as when Phil does. (Phil from Modern Family)
T: Oh, that Phil Humpfy.
M: DUMPHY!


I showed Teh German a photo of one of my senior pics with some obviously 90s chunky/platform shoes and continue showing him other photos of me when I was younger.
T: I'm marrying that one.
I pull up a photo of me in Target wearing a pizza costume.
M: Yeah, but you're also marrying this one too.


Often, Teh German and I will receive the same spam mail.  While I was ripping up an envelope from Geico, he says:
T: You don't know what scam you have!


M: You can do it, babe.
T:  I know I can.  I just don't want to.


T: Oh bathrobes!  I need a bathrobe!  I used to love bathrobes as a kid!




Shit Teh German Said Edition 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11