Five on Friday #166

Let's Just Get This Out of the Way - Kavanaugh Shit

I'm sooooo fucking sad and angry and disappointed and super distracted and there's so many feelz all over the place for me that I can't accurately describe how I feel about what is happening with the American shit show (umm I should trademark this for a TV show) this week.

My heart hurts, I know that.
Also, my heart is soooo sooo sooooo happy.. because:
1- I have friends who have different opinions than me and we can discuss these matters respectfully and we can EDUCATE each other on our beliefs without making each other feeling like we're trying to make them change their mind.  These conversations lead to understanding and understanding leads to closing the chasm between us and finding a common ground where we can MAKE PROGRESS.
2- This discussion is happening.  Yes, people are really fucking angry and there are trolls out there who are nasty, but America has needed this conversation to happen for soooooooo fucking long and it's finally here and I'm so happy that these old white assholes are being called out on their "good ol' boy" behavior and how unacceptable it is.  This discussion is how change becomes REAL.

I'll be honest, all of this shit happening THIS week is extra inconvenient for me.  Because the un-celebrated "the worst weekend of my entire life" happened 9 years ago.  So I mean, too soon, for forever?  Yes. 

Also, can we all congratulate me on the day that I grew up and stopped vague-booking (before it was even called that?)...

This morning I was trying to think back and figure out the last time I was, in some way, sexually assaulted, because... well.. that's a reality.  The most recent time I was sexually assaulted was at my bachelorette party.  I wasn't the only one either.  What had happened was, this guy with a boner started grinding all up on Teh Dental Hygienist.  Then, on me as I tried to remove his creepy bunny head costume.  He didn't like the fact that I was trying to remove his mask and he finally went away, but we didn't report it.  Why would we?  He was just some drunk guy we didn't know and would never see again.  But ya'll he rubbed his fucking boner up my butt crack and it was unpleasant and definitely unwelcome.  I was intoxicated, but not THAT intoxicated.

AND HERE'S THE THING..
we didn't report it because WHY WOULD WE?  That's automatically what my brain went to.  It wouldn't matter to anyone else that some anonymous guy rubbed his dick on us, so to report it would mean and end to our night of fun.  Instead, we promptly forgot about the dick part of the event and focused on the fact that he was a creeper wearing a bunny head dancing up on us.  In fact, it was reenacted at our wedding and it was fucking hilarious.  But the difference was, the guy in the bunny head at our wedding wasn't grinding his boner in my ass crack.  In fact, I'm pretty sure that "Bunny Man" (played by Teh PT Husband) even left some space for Jesus when he was "grinding" on me.  It became a funny memory where we blocked out the part about being sexually assaulted.

That's what it is to be a woman today.  You carry your keys between your fingers and you don't run alone on unlit trails and you block out the parts of a really fun night where you were sexually assaulted.

I didn't report all the details of my rape (specifically, my rapists name) because I knew that to report it would mean that his career would be over and his wife and kids relied on his income.  Or worse, it would mean absolutely nothing and then I'd be the girl who tried to ruin his reputation.. because who would believe that Megan, that strong independent woman could be raped?  She'd fight back, she's tough.  She'd never let that happen to her.

It happened to me because I was drunk.
I didn't actually report it for over a week because I was confused.  I thought maybe I had welcomed it.  I thought that by my agreeing to his statement, "Maybe we can continue this some other time," after he stopped when I started crying, that I had consented.

Let me just be clear.
There was never any consent given on my part.
There was confusion and drunkenness.

Here's another thing...
I DON'T OWE ANYONE AN EXPLANATION FOR WHY I DIDN'T REPORT HIS NAME OR WHY I WAITED TO REPORT WHAT HAPPENED.

I ended up reporting it because keeping it a secret was fucking me up.  I went from vibrant, outgoing, Megan to a shell.  I was hollowed out, I wasn't sleeping, I was sooo nasty to people and they had no idea why because THEY hadn't done anything to me.  It was that nastiness and some prodding from Teh Diver (how the shit did you not have a name till now?!) that finally caused me to seek out some help.  My therapy was my "therapist's" reality show ("" because she was just an Army medic with some psychology training, probably something equivalent to my Psych 101 class at NC State).  Even though I had waited too long, I was still required to have a rape test performed on me and they prescribed Plan B (just in case) to file a report.

I also learned an extremely valuable lesson about restricted and unrestricted reporting within the DoD, which I passed on during every.single. SAPR (sexual assault prevention and response) training I had to endure until I got out of the Navy (at least once a year, if not more often).  There is no option to do a restricted report if ANYONE else was present, they don't tell you that in the SAPR brief and it's IMPORTANT because women who would be definitely willing to report are no longer willing to report when they find out that everyone they work with and their entire chain of command will/can know.

This is why that my rapists name was never put in my unrestricted report.  There were other people present who knew of the event so I couldn't file a restricted report which would mean that the case would stay closed.  Unrestricted reports mean ANYONE can look them up.  So I reported it, every single detail.. except for his name.  There are less than handful of people who know who that person is, excluding whoever the "therapist" told.  Those people were only told because I needed to share my secret because it was literally killing me.  And I also wanted those people to know that if Rapist showed up when we were hanging out and I just got up and left, it wasn't them, it was him.

I also didn't want to report because I didn't want people to know.
I was ashamed.  I am a strong woman.  How did I let this happen? 

Here's what I know now..
1: It was never my responsibility to protect him.  I should have never thought that, but no one ever told me differently.  So if you're in a position where you have to decide to protect someone that has hurt you, in ANYWAY, YOU HAVE NO OBLIGATION TO PROTECT THEM.  Their family is not your responsibility, their wife, mother, husband, children, their job is not your responsibility.  YOU are your responsibility....

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

2: It was never my fault.  I was asleep and came to, to someone having sex with me.  Just because he stopped when I started crying doesn't mean I wasn't raped.  Just because he wasn't violent with me doesn't mean he didn't rape me.  Just because I didn't know who "Bunny Man" was doesn't mean I wasn't sexually assaulted.

BEING A VICTIM DOES NOT EQUAL FAULT.


I could go on and on and on and on and onnnn about this, but I'm going to cut myself off.  I feel like my brain is going in circles because I have sooo much to say about this and I can't be the only one tired of hearing about it.  It's exhausting being so angry.



This post by Katherine (I Am Begging My Mother Not to Read This) so very clearly speaks to my exhaustion and my struggles and trials about sharing my story.

We’ve been telling you. We’ve told you....
We gave you all our personal traumas.

Finally, based on his emotional reaction to being questioned I would NOT want him as a Supreme Court Justice.  I want a Supreme Court Justice who will listen to all the evidence and make an unbiased, non-emotional decision.  I would not trust Kavanaugh to do that.

EINS - Random Shit

-The most embarrassing part of my week was realizing that cavities was misspelled in last Friday's post.  #MeganFail

-My week has been spent thinking about rape and sexual assault and it's been incredibly distracting and I've had so much going on that it's been an extremely difficult week.  While being constantly distracted, I had to try to force myself to focus on work and school and not having a breakdown.  Now I know why people seek counseling for current events.  They aren't snowflakes, they are fucking distracted to the point of being almost unable to function.  I made a list of all my tasks with completion dates so I would be able to prioritize through the haze.  Even still, my mind isn't on my required tasks, but on the current episode of The American Shit Show.

-I took my first test today in my class where we're learning assembly language (if you just blacked out, it's ok.  Just know it's less difficult than Discrete Math or Calc 2 and stick with me).  I felt prepared enough.  Guess we'll see what my grade says on Monday.

-Cyber Investigations project and discussion board replies due Sunday night, coding assignment due Monday, standard German hw + take home essay due Monday, Cyber Security project/test due Tuesday, German test Friday, and circuits and logic test on Friday afternoon.  It's looking like midterm 'round here.

-I have approximately a millionty years worth of homework to do this weekend and zero motivation to do it.  Actually, it's not a lack of motivation, it's the HUGE distraction that won't stop poking at the back of my brain.

-I have Victoria's Secret coupons that expire at the end of September and it's undetermined if I will actually use them or not before they expire.  I also have some cash rewards, so they are really the push for me to use the coupons.  #FirstWorldProblems I know.

-I baked chicken thighs in cream of mushroom soup on Wednesday and I am proud of my life choice.  Usually I pair it with mushrooms and mozzarella cheese, but the mushrooms went bad and I forgot the cheese.  Stuffing and green beans were our sides.  Sweet Baby Jesus, thank you for the invention of Stove Top stuffing.  There are still good things in this world, even if so many of the people running this country are sexual predators.

-We didn't really celebrate Meri's birthday.  I mean, kinda, but not overly.  She received 2 new "mouses" and extra birthday treats and regularly scheduled bully sticks.  I, sadly, was unable to take her on her favorite activity, a walk/jog because I had to study for my test.  #MomoftheYear

Birthday selfies with Mama are a requirement.
Much to their dismay.

This fucking goof.
That was Meri's new mouse... but everything iz belongs to Pax.
#ThisIsMyLife

-I want to travel sooooo badly.  Actually, I want to relax so badly.  But I want to do it somewhere else.  Teh German and I have started to consider alternative Christmas plans since we're still waiting on the government to send word about his green card stuff and we're beginning to worry we won't be going to Germany, which is incredibly depressing for multiple reasons.  In fact, I spent about 30 minutes earlier this week digging into cruises and Sandals resorts only to realize that if we don't hear anything about his green card for Germany, we can't travel out of the country, Megan... #MeganFail.  So instead, I started thinking about somewhere like Colorado for SNOWWWWWW.

When I was telling Teh German about my #MeganFail moment of trying to plan vacations outside of the country he said, "I was thinking about that, maybe we could go somewhere like Colorado for snowboarding."  I hadn't even gotten to that part of the story!  HE READ MY MIND!  This is why we're married, ya'll.

Now, I will say, I don't really snowboard or ski, mostly due to a non-subtle lack of coordination on my part, but Teh German can go snowboard his heart out while I sit in a cabin in the woods with fuzzy socks and a hoodie and as much hot fucking chocolate that I can pour down my gullet and ALL THE BOOKS!  THAT sounds PERFECT to me.

Please excuse me for the next 15 minutes while I'm lost in my daydreams of being in a cabin surrounded by snow while wearing fuzzy socks, pj pants, and a hoodie and reading a book while sipping on hot chocolate.

-Teh German and I officially are Uncle and Aunt!  I'd share a pic, like the proud Auntie I am, but I'm not sure what Mom and Dad's opinion of baby on the internet is, so I'll withhold my baby photos.  But he is aaaadddoorrraaabllleeee.  Teh German said, "He's got more hair than me, Brother, Papa G, and Opa G have all together!"  😂😂

ZWEI - Money Shit

-Car wash subscription, which I'm about to cancel because it's not worth what I'm paying and the fucking shitheads who have such simple jobs don't even do them and it makes me rage.  Actually scrub the bugs off my car, it's your job.  WTF.
-lunch x2 (Codfather, KFC)
-milkshake adventures (Willie Jewells, Come Back Shack, Cookout)
-gas
-boat adventure lunch/beverages
-bungee cords
-exterminator bill
-motorcycle insurance
-Midterm elections Cards Against Humanity expansion
-Friday Sundrop
-Friday sweet tea

DREI - From My Phone Shit

My coworkers get me.

What's the opposite of irony?
Wrinkly!

We agreed there needs to be a middle ground.
LIKE THE ADULTS WE ARE.

VIER - From the Internet Shit

No really, please read Katherine's post.

FÜNF - Things that made me happy this week

1. Friends who will discuss their differing opinions with me.
2. But also, my echo chamber.
3. Sweet tea
4. Support from friends after posting on FB about this week's current events.
5. A sweet ass sound system in Willow... coupled with her ability to mostly drive herself and me down 26 each morning to school.
6. Running and the gym multiple times this week... now if only I could motivate myself to get in my 8-9 miles this weekend....
7. Impromptu calls with Teh Running Bestie
8. Being appreciated for doing my job well and promptly, even if we were set up to fail and I ensured we didn't.
9. 3 ibuprofen kicking my reoccurring headache's ass.
10. This video (because dogs are life):

Happy last Friday of September, Gentle Readers.

Honeymoon Bonus Post

This is all the shit that didn't get included elsewhere.  You're welcome.

When Husband knows you VERY well and his sandwich box "talks" to you.

We didn't find any live greyhounds, but we did find this sighthound statute.
I'll take it.

This tree is covered in bats.
Like, if you zoom in, you can see them.

Oh yeah, thanks Duolingo...
NO.

Someone was a good sport and took a new photo for his posts.

LOOOOOOOOOOOL

The biggest yams/sweet potatoes and carrots I'd ever seen at Paddy's Market in Sydney.

These awesome water fountains are so rare.
It was like finding an extinct animal!

That says YOLO County.
YOLO is a real place people.
THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

Have chocolate.
Will eat.
PS.  It wasn't that good.  Boo, hiss.

2 gulls, sexin'.

There was a weird stain on Yurtle's passenger door which had been there for years....
I finally cleaned it off on the way home from MD.
FINALLY.
And then a month later, I traded in my Yurtle for Willow.

I found THREE libraries while we were on vacation.  I'm considering library hunting while on vacation a new personal mission.

In Sydney

In San Francisco

At Alcatraz

Weekend Review {9/24}

FRIDAY

There are no pictures, but Friday shenanigans took place. 

I got in some miles in the AM, to include a dog run/walk.  I tried Chickfila chicken minis for breakfast, I was not impressed.  Nothing significant happened at school.  Then it was time for work.

I had a Friday meeting at 2pm. 
I have a personal rule about meetings after noon on Fridays... I don't accept them.  Before I was going to class in the mornings, I was usually out of the office on Fridays from 1-2pm.  Now that I'm not in the office at o-dark-thirty, I am in the office later, so I accepted the meeting... and by "accepted" I mean... I walked in with "doctored" soda in my cup.  We were able to get through the document in record time (1 hr).  It was a miracle. 

When I left, I had a #MeganFail and didn't check traffic and after seeing how backed up on way was, had to turn around and go the other way to get to the gym in time.  I made it to the gym and managed to sober myself up for the drive home.  When I got home, Teh German and I couldn't figure out what we wanted to do for dinner, (I really wanted Mexican food, but I didn't really want to make the effort of going out, and Teh German wasn't making a decision either).  After 30 minutes of the decision-less debacle, I finally was like, fuck this and found something in the fridge to eat, cottage cheese and half a pimento cheese sammich (queen of good choices here).  I didn't bother to wait on Teh German since he wouldn't stop his infinite scrolling.  By the time he made his dinner, I was headed upstairs to shower.

After my shower, I headed over to Teh PT house to go on a Blizzard adventure with Teh PT Wife and Kid.  This is when real shenanigans started.  I think it's that the combination of myself, Teh PT Wife, AND Teh PT Kid is unlucky.  When we pulled up to Dairy Queen, I noticed the parking lot was empty and the lights were off.  Confused, we stopped at the door to see a sign that said they had been struck by lightning and were closed.  We couldn't remember the last time there was an actual thunderstorm with lightning in the area....  It was weird.  Soooo we headed to get milkshakes from the Come Back Shack. 

We got stuck in the drive through (since there is no way to escape their drive through due to poor planning) and ended up ordering something for Teh PT Husband and Teh PT Kid, just to order something. Since there was no birthday cake milkshake, Teh PT Wife suggested going to Cookout for a milkshake and I was happy with that decision.  When we were finally released from drive-thru purgatory, we headed to Cookout.

At some point, I realized I was starving.  This isn't really a surprise when I think back to what I had eaten and how much I'd worked out.  I ordered an oreo milkshake and sweet tea at Cookout, but I knew it wasn't enough.  And then.. I looked down at my watch and realized that Willie Jewells, which was across the street, was still open.  I hunger begged Teh PT Wife to make a stop at Willie Jewells for me. 

I ordered a pulled pork sammich with cole slaw and I made sweet mouth love to that sammich all the way home.  In fact, I was a few bites from being finished when we pulled into the driveway and I just sat in the car to finish it while everyone else went inside.  It was the best pulled pork sammich I'd ever eaten.  Teh PT Wife told Teh German and Teh PT Husband when I went inside that she was worried she'd get her fingers bitten off while trying to get a fry I was so... invested... in my eating.

I ate less than half my milkshake, since I really just needed protein to feel full.  Of course, it didn't take long after that for exhaustion to set in.  Teh German and I headed home and it was bedtime.

SATURDAY

Saturday was a slow start. First up: breakfast and coffee outside.  Second was a difficult chat with some friends.  One of these things went better than the other.  It's really hard to have a conversation with someone who refuses to discuss things that they don't like or want to hear.  I also find it extremely disrespectful to be completely ignored/unacknowledged after I've said something that is difficult to say.  I had to work up the balls to say something to begin with, at least acknowledge my fucking effort, even if you don't like it.  Additionally, it's hard to maintain a friendship with someone that makes me feel disrespected and unvalued.  We'll see what happens, but I'm not holding my breath anymore.

Halloween Fruit Loops with Marshmallows!

After breakfast, it was time for laundry and to make sure any last minute guest prep was accomplished, i.e. Meri and Pax testing the bed to ensure that our guests would be comfortable.....

In a very frustrating situation, that I had ZERO control of (which was part of the problem), Teh German and I sat around waiting on our guests for over an hour since we didn't really know when they'd arrive.  Uhhhh, one of the things I hate, hate, and double hate?  Waiting for something/someone when I don't know when to expect them.  I don't want to get involved in anything because I don't want to be interrupted, but I hate wasting my time just sitting around doing nothing.  Life's best catch-22 that I should be used to after the Navy, but lawd it makes me stabby.

The biggest part is that Teh German hadn't coordinated with our guests to see what their plans were until the night before.  Oh yes, that scream you just heard was my control freak having a meltdown.  Not only did he not know what they planned on doing (i.e. coming straight to our house from the airport or something else), he had no idea what they planned on doing while they were here (i.e. were they planning to include us in their activities or not (I wasn't worried either way, I was ok with just being a hotel or being included)).

When they finally arrived, Teh German gave them the tour of the house and they brought their stuff in and I was hangry by the time we left for lunch.  Teh German wouldn't shut up and I finally was like, "You think you can tell them about this in the car?  Let's go."  Obviously, their first impression of me was the most accurate they could have gotten: Needs to be fed promptly.

We went to Mex 1 for lunch since I'd been craving it for a while.  We ended up with the worst server in the restaurant.  Beers were delivered by the bartender before my sweet tea was delivered.  I told Teh German I was considering stabbing our server in the leg with my silverware so we could get a different server.  Teh German suggested that he'd probably still be our server, but maybe with a limp.  I responded, "You can't cover up a bleeding stab wound with a blue bandaid or gloves and keep working." 

Our appetizers came out about 5 minutes before our food, which meant they didn't get eaten.  Teh German commented that he was glad I was wearing my sunglasses so the server couldn't see my rage eyes.  I admitted to him that I had put my sunglasses on my head after the beers were delivered by the bartender so that way the server could clearly see my pissed off face.  #NotSorry

churro chips for dessert.
Thanks extended Restaurant Week

The best part of lunch at Mex 1 was meeting a new friend.  Sadly, new friend was more interested in her owner's chips than me petting her.. Rude, especially since I have a soft spot for dals since my family/I owned them.

I suggested a nap after lunch, but Teh German didn't want to accept that suggestion.  One of our guests suggested the beach and I mentioned that we had a pool in the neighborhood, and that was the agreed upon activity (*praisehands* since that meant no sand in my car).  I'm 100% certain we ALL took naps at the pool.  It was Teh German's first time at the pool this year.  So glad we get our money's worth from those HOA dues....

We had agreed to meet Teh SC German and Teh SC Teacher at Red's around 6:30 for evening activities with our guests.  I guess I should explain that one of the guests worked with Teh German and Teh SC German in Charleston for a few months before returning to the German location.  Guest reached out to Teh German a few months ago when he and his girlfriend decided to come visit CHS.  We offered free lodging and they took us up on it (YAY!). 

We snacked (since lunch was late) for dinner and hung out for a bit at the bar, then we decided to walk the Shem Creek Pier.  

I'm old AF, so by 10, I was doooonnneee.  We eventually walked back to the car and headed home for bedtime.

SUNDAY

Sunday was my morning to get up with the dogs and since it was uncharacteristically cool outside, I sat outside, snuggling with my Monkey-Doodle and texting with Teh Running Bestie.  Since it was cooler outside than inside, I left the door cracked for doggy comings and goings.  Meri was up on the couch with me, protecting her human and using her radar ears to assess her domain, and Pax did eventually meander out to poke me in the eye with his nose and give me a general morning sniff down.

We had agreed that we'd go to Sunflower Cafe for breakfast at 0900.  So I finally headed inside to get ready.  When we arrived, there was a short wait, but it was no big deal... especially after our food arrived within 10 minutes of ordering it.  #WIN

I didn't even think to take a picture of my delicious mushrooms, spinach, white cheddar, and crab omlette w/ grits and a biscuit.  I can admit to maintaining "clean plate club" status though.  I have a love/hate relationship with finding crab shell in my food.  Hate because shell and ouch my teeth, love because that means you got legit crab, not some imitation crab shit.

After breakfast, we made a pit stop at Food Lion for sammich ingredients and adult beverages for a boating adventure.  We had made plans to go out on Teh SC German and Teh SC Teacher's boat for the day the night before.  We were 30 minutes earlier than expected which meant getting on the water sooner than we anticipated!

Teh German and I got to experience our first lock traversal.  It was cool except for when we got attacked by lovebugs.  Fucking lovebugs.  I hate them.  They are a bane to my existence.  Maybe because I have a hard limit to things sexin' on me?  IDK, I just do not like them.  They don't bite, they just land on you and they are creepy and I don't like it.  The top of the lock was a lovebug orgy that I was unwilling involved in.  NO ME GUSTA.

Lock selfie!

Lovebug orgy.
Multiply this by 1000 and that's approximately how many lovebugs were swarming us.

We hung out at an island beach for a little while, then we ran from the rain, we took the lock back down to the river and got orgy raped again by the lovebugs.  On the river, the dudes took turns wake boarding.  Teh German showed off his moves with dragging his fingers through the wake and jumping almost the entire wake.  NBD.

I passed on tubing because it always makes me hurt soooo bad for so long after and I want to be able to keep up my run/workout schedule that I'm currently maintaining.  Around 5:15, we had to make the decision to stay out or go in and I had to make the sad announcement that we needed to go home since we had to feed the beasts.  I also had homework to attend to.  Womp womp.

Mr. Big Deal 💜

So, we headed back to dry land.  When we got home, I showered the lake off, then set about leftovers for dinner.  After dinner, I started on homework.  While I worked on homework, Teh German and our guests ate dinner and then watched a movie.  I finished up with homework by 9:30 and then I spent 30 minutes of my life I'll never get back making virtual paperclips.  I had to just cut myself off and close the window so I could go to bed.

Either due to sunburn or "fall" "arriving" (both of those words are in quotes because I don't believe either of these things are true), I was freeeeeeeeeezing for most of the evening.  I tried to put on long sleeves because I love long sleeves, but the sunburn was not accepting that.  When I got in the bed, I made Meri snuggle with me so I wouldn't freeze.  When Teh German finally came to bed, I got a little warmer, but I still ended up pulling out a long sleeve sleep shirt because I just couldn't get warm.  Then I proceeded to sweat throughout the night.  It was just as awesome as you imagine.

______________________________________________

A good weekend, overall.  A busy weekend, for sure.  It's strange to me not to spend my entire weekend or at least a full day of the weekend focused on school things.  I probably could, but I don't really have to, so I haven't.  I guess we'll find out what kind of mistake that is when I take my tests this week..... :)

Our guests leave tomorrow, so we'll be back to an empty nest. 

Our HVAC was "fixed" this morning.. so fingers crossed that the next time it breaks, it REALLY breaks and they have to just replace the entire thing... this will save me having to kill it in a few years.  What this really means is that I really pissed off my computer science professor when I ran out of class to take a phone call in the middle of class.  He likes to do this thing where he publicly shames students for doing things he doesn't like (i.e. walking out during the middle of class to go to the bathroom or take a call).  I apologized when I came back in the classroom and explained it was an emergency.  He said, "Yeah, what kind of emergency?"  I responded, "The kind where my HVAC is broken and that was the HVAC guy who was calling.  I consider no AC an emergency."  He didn't say anything to me after that.  Bitch please, I'm an adult, not a cadet (not to say some cadets aren't adults), and I have a real life that doesn't revolve around The Citadel.  Get the fuck out of my face with getting in my business.  I should have said it was personal, but didn't feel like fighting that fight this morning and it was easier just to be honest.  It won't be a sad day for too many cadets when he finally retires.

Meri's birthday is Thursday!  We have zero things planned.  I mean, she's pretty spoiled on a day-to-day basis and the most recent training they've accomplished with me is that if bully sticks haven't been dispensed by 7:30, the begging eyes and harassment begin.  And like the well-trained human I am, I promptly dispense bully sticks to make the dogs stop harassing me.

💙💚💛💜😍

The week of the hurricane really threw me off and I'm struggling with wrapping my head around the fact that this IS actually the last week of September and next week is OCTOBER.  Lawd, please let long sleeve weather be upon me in the next week or so.  Because after long sleeve weather is hoodie weather and that is definitely my favorite time of year... anytime I can wear a hoodie. 

Happy End of September, Gentle Readers.

Five on Friday #165

EINS - Random Shit

-For those who have an Audible subscription.... Ya'll know about Audible Originals???  Essentially, it's kinda like Amazon Prime's free book per month (what with being an Amazon company, I imagine I know where the idea came from).  You can pick TWO from six options.  It's not to say the options are always awesome, but free shit is free shit.

-I hate when I end up with 3 miles of toilet paper because the paper wouldn't rip off from the roll.  This usually happens when I'm using public toilets.

-My German professor was saying something about German doesn't have words like "restroom" for toilet.  Then she said, "You don't even rest in the rest room!"  I alllllllllllmost said to her, "You've obviously never met my husband."  I didn't feel like it was appropriate for the entire class to hear.  Would ya look at that?  Sometimes I DO have a filter!

-To go to bed with an audiobook with 20 minutes left and an ebook with ~30 minutes left is the hardest thing to do for a book lover.

-Went to the dentist on Tuesday.
1.  Many compliments on my teefs.
2.  No cavities #LikeABoss
3.  Was told to keep doing what I am doing (which includes using plastic flossers which aren't really encouraged, but if you make sure to scrape both sides of the tooth rather than just in and out, you're golden)
4.  I do have some sensitivity (fuckin' surprise) so the hygienist did a fluoride treatment.
4a. Said fluoride treatment was grape flavored.  Do you want to know what I hate?  Grape flavored ANYTHING.  Too much Dimeatapp as a kid.  I don't eat purple candy even.  Not even purple Skittles.  You can have them all.  Fake grape flavor is nasty.  Keep yo fake grape.

-The MOST SATISFYING THING of my entire week was brushing the fluoride treatment off my teeth after it had been on for SIX hours.  The minimum time was 2 hours, but I knew I wouldn't brush until it was bedtime, so I held out.  I think I was exhausted from just how irritating the treatment was on my teeth.  Yes, I have an OCD problem.  This is why I have flossers in my car.  Shit in/on my teeth is the 100% absolute worst feeling for me.

-DID YOU KNOW THERE'S GONNA BE A MOVIE ABOUT MY ULTIMATE #GIRLPOWER HEROINE?!?!???!?!?!?!  Who am I talking about?? The Notorious RBG!  THEEEE Ruth Bader Ginsberg.

-I can't do Pandora.  I tried.  My people were all glad that I went back to Spotify so I'd quit bitchin' about Pandora.  #AllHailSpotify

-Speaking of Spotify...  I listen to my Release Radar playlist on Fridays and my Discover Weekly on Mondays.  It's a self-law.  My Release Radar is ON POINT today, Gentle Readers!  Here's why:

ZWEI - Money Shit

-No/Post-Hurricane shopping: pots, dog toys, awesome dish towel, ya know.. stuff.
-Spotify subscription
-multi-vitamin
-Impulse thin hoodie purchase (lawd can it be long sleeve weather yet?!)
-groceries
-chicken minis and a sweet tea for Friday breakfast.

DREI - From My Phone Shit

I made zoodles.
I had found some zucchini recipes a bit ago and then I didn't even have the correct ingredients for the recipe, so I winged it.
It was fine.

No cavities!
Anddd a "keep doing what you're doing" comment from the dentist.
#WIN

FUCKING TRAINS.
I pulled up right as this train started to go by.
This is my life.

How does this happen when I pull out a hair that is tangled?
I just want to understand the perfect spiral.

I was confused about the measurement of "one squeeze"... and then I tried it and realized that "just a few drops" is completely sufficient.

I FINALLY got to go to this food truck this week.  I've been stalking them for months.
L: PB&J churro
TR: strawberry cheesecake
BR: Smores
It was as delicious as you're imagining.

And he was so proud of himself.
Please note that no German meal is completely without potatoes.

It's crazy to me that Drs Foster and Smith make a Slumber Ball dog bed fit into such a "tiny" box.

I wouldn't sell my soul for chicken minis.

VIER - From the Internet Shit

This post by Steph about TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF.  Preach, Sister, preach.

FÜNF - Things that made me happy this week

1. Accidentally hitting a cadet in the face with a piece of gum during the middle of class by accident.  It was hilarious and I am still laughing.
2. Teh German making dinner.
3. Getting in a workout almost every day this week.
4. My Release Radar playlist on Spotify.
5. Finishing 2 books this week.
6. When "my" Snapchat filter works properly (the big eyes, little nose, and big mouth filter)
7. No cavities.
8. Finally getting to the Holy City Waffles food truck.
9. It almost not feeling soooo Charleston outside today.  (this means that cooler temps might be on the way, LAWD willing)
10. This week being over.  Why the fuck was this week soooo long?  Jebus.

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.