Five on Friday #225

EINS - Random Shit

A while ago the Gmail inbox UI was revamped and there was a stupid thing that when you hovered over the left side bar, it would expand and I'd always accidentally hover over it and click on shit I didn't mean to while trying to click other things.  Well, I got fed up with this shit and finally decided to Google how to fix it and there was a stupid simple fix and I'm mad I dealt with it for so long, but it's fixed now and no more accidental clicks and life is good.

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Thank you for any and all birthday well-wishes.  I'm gonna be honest.  My actual birthday fucking sucked for so many reasons, not the first one being the lingering sickness and subsequent coughing that is making me pee in my pants (because I'm 3 years old, tyvm).

Apparently that mask really fucked up the color balance of my camera?

Additionally, Teh German did the standard grocery store flowers and card and picked up cannoli cupcakes because "I know you like cannolis" but that was all the effort put into my birthday.  It had been decided week before last that we'd go to my fave Mexican place for dinner, which I'd already mentioned to him.  Fun reminder: I bought him hockey tickets with seats ON THE ICE for his bday, but ya know, it's fine he didn't bother to do anything for/get me anything... I'm not petty.

That's a fucking lie.  I'm petty AF and he couldn't even be bothered to put any thought into any ideas for me (HIS WIFE FOR FUCKING EVER (even if some days it's pure spite that I will stick around)) and I'm quite disappointed and when I did tell him, despite feeling like I'm being petty (because I am), he responded with, "Oh well, you can just bitch about it on your blog," but also, for the 2nd year in a row, my feelings were quite crushed.  Especially after he pointed out the florist where he usually orders flowers to be delivered for me when we passed it recently (prior to my bday).

So on Wednesday morning when he mentioned something about the bday celebration on Friday, I pointedly said, "It's my birthday do-over day since my actual birthday sucked so fucking bad, so if you have any regrets, this is your opportunity to remedy those."  I could literally feel the hint going over his head.

In case you were confused, THIS is marriage, Gentle Readers.  The NOT wanting to telling your significant other how disappointed you are in them that they can't be bothered to put any effort into a SINGLE DAY to celebrate you because you don't want them to feel like you're being critical of them because you don't want to hurt their feelings.

Get married, they said.  It will be fun, they said.

Update from later in the week:
I know it's just flowers and I'm over it after Matilda had flowers delivered to me.  I did finally cut the flowers that Teh German got me and arranged them in the vase better.  Yes, I'm still petty AF, but like, even my cold-heartedness has to give at some point.

Also, being angry is exhausting.

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Because of this fucking illness, I missed a medal giving half marathon and I'm kinda pissed about it.  Fortunately, it wasn't a super expensive race.  Teh PT Wife asked me if I deferred and I told her I just considered it a donation since the funds raised were to go towards saving the Morris Lighthouse.  Maybe next year.

Charlotte Hot Chocolate 15k with Matilda and Teh Bestie is my next upcoming race.
Then the Myrtle Beach 5k with Teh PT Wife for the Bless Your Heart medal.
Then Rock n Roll DC Half Marathon with Matilda and Teh Bestie.
Then I have some races on the calendar as suggestions, but no race commitments until June, which are local 5ks, and then July which is Rock n Roll Chicago with Matilda and The Bestie.

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If you REQUIRE Internet Exploder as the required browser in 2020, you are obsolete and need to spend the money to fix yourself.  YES, even if you are the motherfucking United States Department of Defense/Department of the Navy.  Maybe we should put some of that GDP to improving morale by improving mandatory training to be relevant in all the ways and less frustrating to complete.

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I love word etymologies and I recently came across an article that gave an etymology of the word "fuck" which obviously spoke to my soul.

The article is about 2020 masculinity, so it was an overall interesting read, but the etymology really got my goat.

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Is couple's therapy an acceptable valentine's gift?  Asking for a friend...

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NBD, but I am the 2020 Swain Family School of Science and Mathematics Outstanding Veteran Student and I'm super pumped about it.  At first I thought it was just like "outstanding veteran student" from the Computer Science dept and I was gonna be like, I'm THE ONLY outstanding veteran student graduating this year...

But then I realized it was ALL Science AND Math vet students and I'm like.. way more impressed with myself.  That includes Biology, Chemistry, Cyber and Computer Sciences, Health and Human Performance, Mathematical Sciences, Nursing and Physics.

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These fools after a family stroll in the rain:

He came in, sloshed water all over the floor, then flopped down.
He did at least lift his head for a photo.
#GOOFLIFE

Damp Meri is cute and dry Meri is adorable...
But wet Meri is the stuff of nightmares,
trust me on this.
This is damp Meri.

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When Coworker suggested the unicorn cake for our February birthday cake, I was like FUCK YES.  If it looks vaguely familiar, it's because that's the same birthday cake selection I made for my birthday gathering last year.  This is funfetti flavored and I'm super pumped.

It says, "Magical year to come?"
The bakery put an ! instead of a ? and we made them change it back to a ?.
I always make sure to put something ridiculous on the work birthday cake.

ZWEI - Money Shit

-All the utility bills.  IDK why they all seemed to come at the same time this month, but necessities.
-bully sticks
-2021 Charleston Half
-Stupid credit card annual fee (#Rage, but travel rewards, so #TradeOffs)
-A million medical bills
-Flight to DC for the Rock N Roll DC race with Matilda and Teh Bestie, but I used my credit card travel rewards so I only had to pay the $11 in taxes, so the #TradeOff has been validated
-Birthday Bojangles (when the day was still young and full of hope)
-Groceries
-Sinus rinse bottles
-New 12 ft power cable for the monitor on my desk so I can arrange my desk in a less cramped way.
-Dog food
-Vet bills for nail clips and vaccines/boosters.  It's been over $150 per visit for the past 2 months and I'm ready for that shit to stop right NOAW.
-Birthday do-over Bojangles.
-Local 5k in June

DREI - From My Phone Shit

What doing German homework looks like these days.
Although I've started adding more translation windows, zooming in on the questions, and splitting more windows for more things.  I'm over it.

Sickness meant not being able to celebrate when my countdown finally got below 100 days.
This is 94 days.

This Moose.  <3 

He's such a goof.
And then Meri like, why would you be paying HIM attention when I'm right here.

I love jokes about eyes.
The cornea the better.

Birthday week at work.
I love my bday ears, but the band squeezes my head and I figured this was slightly more subtle.

The best part of my birthday:
Lingua chimichanga with a side of cilantro.

Here's what we say about this coworker:
It's his world, we just live in it.
Ugggggh.  Why can't people be considerate of others?

It cost $1.10 for all this.
See also: how I soothe shitty-shit.

Birthday flowers from Matilda!  <3

Teh German likes lentils, so I made lentil curry.
I'm not a huge Indian food fan, but this was packed full of healthy healths, so fine.

TACO SOUP.
Teh German's specialty is making schnitzel or kasespatzel.
My specialty is taco.mother.fucking.soup. 

VIER - From the Internet Shit

take it one wave at a time.
MHN

BE.FUCKING.BETTER

I know it is so hard to take deep breaths on days like this but every single one you take is a sign of strength...
A small and beautiful rebellion to the darkness that thought it had you.
MHN

FÜNF - Things that made me happy this week

1. Not being contagious.
2. Designated birthday do-over day.
3. My Spotify On Repeat playlist + subsequent songs via their algorithm which can be hit or miss.
4. 2020 Swain Family School of Science and Mathematics Outstanding Veteran Student
5. Accomplishing Tech Writer things.
6. Annual raise + expectations chat.
7. Teh German dropping up/picking up the beasts for doggy daycare today.  I already handled both of them on my own for their vet visit this week and it is always super anxiety inducing for me, which Meri feeds off of, and then we're all a disaster.
8. Handling the laundry promptly all week, like the fucking Laundry Fairy Master I am.
9. Teh Bestie listening to my woes.  She's got a lot of her own shit going on and she still helps me manage my life. <3
10. Teh German helping me with the laundry one night and suggesting a family walk, despite the rain.  Yes, I bitch a lot, but when I watch him while he sleeps, I still have like, nice feelings for him and like love and stuff, so.. he's not so bad all the time.

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.