Five on Friday #226

EINS - Random Shit

Real talk, if you are a vlogger, LOOK AT THE FUCKING CAMERA.  Do NOT look at yourself for your entire video (if you are using your cell phone or some media showing device to record yourself).  Jesus Christ, why isn't this obvious?  Talk to ME, your viewer, not to yourself.  I know, it's hard not to watch yourself, but you can do it.  I swear.  If you need to check yourself every so often, that's cool, but watching yourself for a 10 minute video?  I will rip off your arms and beat you with them.

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I might have admitted this before, but it's worth posting again.

It always takes me 3 holes to hang something on the wall that has 2 hangers (a hook on each side).  Every.fucking.time.
Please also note that I hang stuff by the "eh, that's fine" method 95% of the time, which means eyeballing it to see if something is straight or not.

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A few of my bras have a sparkly edging on the cups.  Monday, the dress I wore kinda showed the sparkly area of my bra through the fabric of the dress.  I deemed myself, "Sparkle Tits."

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Does eating frozen yogurt count as taking probiotics?  Asking for a friend.

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Sometimes, I creep on what my Spotify friends are listening to and listen to their playlists that are made for them.  I have learned (and am not surprised by) the fact that Teh Sister and I have very similar music tastes.  Thanks, Sis!

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There are few things worse than the smell of Lowcountry being trapped in your car.  If you cannot relate to this, imagine that you fart your worst smelling fart then open your door and get out of your car and do your thing.  When you get back in your car hours later, it still smells like the fart.  Except worse because now it's warm.  It's a fetid fart.  #HateHateHate

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It's been a hot minute since I posted a Shit Teh German Said (STGS) post.. and I wanted to discuss that for a second.  First off, I will say that there is a STGS post scheduled for this month.  But I often struggle with documenting the hilarious shit he says because... I want to enjoy it.  I don't want to have to stop cackling to text myself the conversation.  It really takes away from my enjoyment of the moment.  So I'm torn.  I know everyone loves those posts, because they are, obviously, hilarious.  But it takes effort for me to laugh, then recall the conversation with perfect clarity and text it to myself.  Effort that I don't always want to put in.

So just know, I'm debating on whether or not to make more of an effort again for STGS posts.  I can't guarentee anything will change, but it's on my mind.

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PITA Professor straight up called me out on doing less good this semester than I did last semester.  HELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Senioritis!

"Your performance thus far has been below your normal excellent performance, you can do better!

Also, this is specifically on his daily quizzes and often I mix up 2 definitions, which means that I don't just miss 1 question, but 2 and when a quiz has less than 10 questions, that's a pretty significant portion.  Maybe looking at the material would help, but mostly, IDGAF.  /shrug. And also.. if my average quiz grade is my lowest grade of 3 tests and the final exam, it will get dropped anyways.  #DoNotCurr.

I'm always really affected by disappointment, so while this comment makes me laugh on the outside, it is really getting under my skin.  I know that logically, of course, I am doing poorly because we've had 10 quizzes and I missed 2 of them when I was out sick (and we're not allowed to make them up), so those are probably also dragging my average down.  Like, I understand the LOGIC of why he'd write that comment, but I can literally do NOTHING to improve other than study better for quizzes, which I don't really care to stress myself out over.  I'm not sure why I'm still wrestling with this.

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Dear Spotify,
I haven't listened to Christmas music since December.  You can update my "Recently Played" playlists now... /facepalm

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Teh German is pretty bad about just going on Amazon and buying something, rather than doing any price comparing at other places we shop at (i.e. Sam's Club).  I'm hoping he learned his lesson recently when he paid double for an item on Amazon that he would have paid if he would have purchased it at Sam's.

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Dear Chase,
Thanks for free Doordash delivery for a year.  Now I might actually be tempted to use Doordash.

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First, there was just fat week.
Then, there was fat week and skinny week.
Then, there was fat week, motivated week, then skinny week.
Then.. there was fat week, motivated week, exhausted week, then skinny week.

This is all because having a uterus is a punishment.

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Forgetting to turn on the crockpot in the morning is why someone invented the instant (it's not fucking instant) pot.  But for us, it just means a valid excuse to ride the bikes to dinner... which is exactly what happened on Tuesday, despite Teh German getting home later than usually AND me having a test on Wednesday (which meant I need to study the night prior).

I was stressed out about being out late and then Suzi wouldn't start so he had to ride the Bobber (what a rough life having 2 motorcycles to choose from!).. And guess what, it was all fine.  We ended up riding to the Workshop for dinner and I had zero regrets.  We made it home by 8:15 and I was still able to go through the remainder of the test review

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I loved The Ranch.. until this last season.  I'm super disappointed to admit that.  This season, all the jokes felt trope-y, tired, and forced.  I did still have some LOL moments, but mostly, I wasn't sorry to play games on my phone while The Ranch was on the big screen.

Next up: Vikings.
Also, I was informed that I would really like Dark.  My German class loved the show, so I'm curious.

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I almost sent Teh German a cheesy valentine's day beer gift basket to his office on principle to be like, SEEE this is what people that like each other do...
But I didn't because... I'm a petty asshole.
Ya know, in case you were worried about me not being a petty asshole.  I still am.
Additionally, I already purchased a couples massage for us, so I can use my gift certificate that he got me for Christmas/being a good cheerleader during the job change drama and I already paid for his massage.  Soooooo yeah.  Not keeping score.  And also, I don't want to fuel my own bitterness.  Because that's probably what it would do.

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Someone brought in 2 Edward's frozen pies for Thanksgiving and they are still in the freezer since we had wayyy too much food for work Thanksgiving.  Fast forward to February and I've been helping myself to freezer pie since it's fat week.  I'm NOT FUCKING SORRY about it either.

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My Stats professor is the least "Citadel-y" professor I've ever had and I'm not even sad about it.  He straight up told us how to work out one problem during the test and he answered my question, even if it didn't really help me get the answer because something was missing.  I pulled a "when it doubt, c it out" and called it done.

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What it's like to work with me:

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Does anyone else feel like this week took a millionty days to finally get to Friday?  Because I'm confident that's exactly how many days it's been since last week.

ZWEI - Money Shit

-Groceries
-Power bill.  $100 in the winter makes me stabby since that means our AC has been running... IN THE WINTER TIME.
-Denver hotel
-Denver rental car

DREI - From My Phone Shit

New sign after I removed the millionth k-cup before I was able to brew my own coffee:
After brewing, please remove your mold developing k-cup from the machine.
Queen of Passive-Aggressiva strikes again!

Ring selfies.
Not sorry
88 days when I took this.

My new Company hoodie came in.  Small is WAY better than the medium.
Too bad it's too fucking hot here to wear a hoodie.  :|

Saw an APV just rollin' down the street with a non-uniformed person chillin' from the manhole.
Filed under: Really fucking bizarre shit.

When you're almost to the office and realize it's a school day.
Thankfully, work is halfway to school, even if a little out of the way, so I still managed to make it to school in time to get decent parking and in time for my test.

VIER - From the Internet Shit

As much as you have given thought to the way things were before,
you can give mindful grace filled thoughts to the present all the more.
MHN

Who you are right now matters more than you know.
MHN

you do not have to be fearless to be confident.
MHN

FÜNF - Things that made me happy this week

1. Learning a new, EASIER, way to do work things.  Thanks to a coworker for taking the 10 minutes out of his busy day to help me and make me more productive and less of a burden on him.  #TeachAManToFish
2. The Chiro.  
3. Freezer pie.
4. Patience.  Even if it's only minimal.
5. Accurate #BarometerHead readings.
6. Looking forward to a massage all week long.
7. Not succumbing to my own pressure to go out for breakfast/lunch.
8. Riding to dinner with Teh German on Wednesday.
9. Baloo being paid off.
10. Chatting with Teh Bestie during our drives, even if our phones sometimes cut out and we call each other back so quickly that we get each other's voicemail. 

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.